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Live Looking for Love: The Trials and Tribulations of Online Dating in Japan When I moved to Japan about five years ago, I quickly realized that finding love in this country was not going to be an easy task. Most western men I met were either gay, in a relationship or only interested in Japanese women. I did find Japanese guys very attractive, but they would never approach me, being notoriously shy around foreign women.
I could sometimes detect a flicker of interest, at most, before they ran away. The courtship process in Japan puzzled me. From what I gathered from my Japanese girlfriends, it seemed to involve a lot of passiveness, indirect communication, text messaging, misunderstandings and patience. After wasting months subtly pursuing a guy at work only to discover he had a girlfriend, I quit the Japanese way — and bento making, also described by my friends as a boyfriend magnet in Japan. I was new to the online dating scene and a little hesitant at first.
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I wanted to show the human aspect, the individual stories behind those who use these applications. They share a common yearning for connection and found it on a touch screen. Many see it as just a game and can easily distinguish between the computerized and reality, while others are perpetually stuck in a love loop, desperately waiting for the next update of the game. One player holds a picture of him and his virtual girlfriend, Manaka, at a resort town called Atami, which caters to players on a weekend retreat programmed into the game.
Another year-old player spends one of many nights alone in his one-bedroom apartment with his console, chatting with Manaka, his e-girlfriend of five years. When asked what he was looking for in a woman, he said he wanted someone who appreciates his hobbies. They wanted someone who accepted them as they were. These games have remained a distinctly Japanese trend, though. Follow him on Twitter photojournalism. Follow her on Twitter rachelllowry. TIME may receive compensation for some links to products and services on this website.
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‘Japanese only’: the impact of Japanese ethnocentrism on preferences in gay online dating ABSTRACT To this day, an extensive collection of research proves that Japan is an ethnocentric civilization, drawing a strong line between what and who is 外 and 内.
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